January of 2025 came and went. 

We welcomed a new president (for better or for worse) on Martin Luther Day. We watched as L.A. and surrounding areas burnt to the ground, heard news about 3 plane crashes and many deaths, and we experienced a polar vortex here in Michigan as I stupidly drove two hours to lead a 3-day training with 10% visibility. 

I settled deeper into these transitions taking place in my life. 

December 20 was my last day as a full-time employee in the nonprofit world. As with any transition, I’ve grown enough to know that I’ll experience all the emotions as life feels upside down for a while. The good-byes, and even the not so good-byes, but the acknowledgement that certain relationships will take a different shape, is something to grieve. As with all things, we have to let life evolve; allow ourselves to go through what we’re experiencing. In the moment, it always feels like the hard emotions and the feeling of unsettledness will last forever. 

Now at the end of January, I can live to tell the story – “the hard” doesn’t last forever. I’ve experienced a breath of fresh air – all in the midst of my ex telling me that he’s having a baby with his new girlfriend, wondering how I would make ends meet, and attempting to give myself grace as I start something new. I can breathe again. Because I listened to what was right – both within myself, and the Spirit that lives in me. 

On a more vulnerable note, I’ve allowed the love I have for my new(ish) man to deepen. Walter and I spent the most consecutive time together this month than any of the previous months before. As I enjoyed a fabulous weekend in Chicago, and he chose to come back with me, it was when he was headed to get ready to head back to Chicago, that he was in a car accident. Luckily he’s’ OK, but his car isn’t. And his face will live to tell the tale. It was a complicated thing to experience, but having him around allowed space for us to fall into a rhythm with each other, with Isaiah, with housework … all with the “normal-ish” everyday things … even though there is nothing “normal” about the life I live. 

The tides rise. Then, they fall. Then, they rise again. The more time that goes by I realize the importance of who is with me during those rises and falls.