She didn’t want her picture taken, name shared, or location of business. Rightly so.

As a Mexican immigrant, she shared a bit of her life with me, along with what she is experiencing in this current climate. I could call her Jane Doe, but no Mexican woman is named Jane. So, disregard.

I was waiting on the street for Walter to pick up his drycleaning. She came out, in short sleeves, to meet me, and to tell Walter to have a good day. We were introduced, shook hands, and exchanged a couple of comments regarding her business when she said something along the lines of, “But, they just think I’m an alien!”

I couldn’t help it – I asked to talk more. She invited me inside and willingly spent an hour with me. As we were winding up, she told me I need to come back so we can talk more in the future. Done deal.

“NotJane” had her eldest son with her. While he and her grandson were present, she shared with me about her upbringing, her own motherhood, what it takes to be a business owner, and how she fights for what is hers.

“NotJane” came to the US at the age of 6 with her parents. She has returned to Mexico to visit, but she calls the US home. She is a single mother of 3 – two biological, one adopted. She has built a drycleaning and tailoring business from the ground up. She works 6 days a week as “It takes a lot to put my kids through college, but a mother does what she has to do.”

Her eldest has been a teacher for 8 years and is now going into business and finance. He is a hard-working single father. At the age of 6, her middle adopted daughter was diagnosed with ADHD/Autism/Major Depression. Having been her daughter since the age of 1, the state understood what kind of undertaking “NotJane” would have ahead. They asked her, the mother, if she wanted to return her daughter to the state. They were met with an emphatic, ‘Absolutely not, she is my daughter.’ Her youngest daughter is in nursing school, and “NotJane” beams about how proud she is of her family.

As the eldest of 13, “NotJane” helped raise her siblings as her father died when she was only 9. As a Mexican, she acknowledged the many traditions her family follows. Her mother always told her she needs to follow suit by having a large family. She decided to break tradition: “I have to pay my own bills, and for each of my kids. I wanted to give them the best I could, so I decided 3 was good for me.”

We were interrupted mid-chat as a neighborhood boy walked in from a nearby project. He simply stopped in to say hello and she gave him a piece of candy, sending a second for his friend, who she called by name.

“NotJane” proudly wore her womanhood, her success, the things she’s learned along the way. As she shared what she’s seeing in her community she said this, “They say they’re targeting the criminals, but they’re not. They’re taking the tamale makers, the roofers, the mechanics.”

She shared of a woman older than her that was approached by ICE agents while selling tamales in the streets. The Peruvian woman didn’t resist, she simply signed the paperwork presented to her because she didn’t want to be held in the horrendous detention facility for “due process.” She has been sent back to Peru, after having lived in Chicago for decades.

She told the story of a father arrested after dropping kids off at school. A 4ish-year-old was ripped from his father’s arms and left on the streets for a random passerby to figure out how to find other family. The passerby called the police who then had to figure out how to find home for a 4-year-old.

She shared the story of the raid that happened in South Shore, a neighborhood where only a couple of years ago, many Venezuelan immigrants were housed as a result of the Texan governor shipping them to Chicago. Now, ICE agents coming through the roof and the windows, to displace families that took up 330 units in a 5-story building. These men traumatized children by ziptying them for hours while the men in uniform hunted for supposed gang members from Tren de Aragua (Venezuelan gang). The building was torn apart, and what was already considered tough living conditions has now been vandalized from top to bottom. According to “NotJane,” they may have found two that were suspicious.
The horror.

“NotJane” remarried 5 years ago. As an independent woman, she shared what it’s been like to have a man when she’s used to life on her own. Something she said should resonate with many: “I’m not an alien. I’m not an illegal. I’m a mother, a community member, a business owner. I’m Mexican-American.”

My circumstances differ from “NotJane.” But from woman to woman, I experienced her as a powerhouse who fought for her kids to have what they needed. As a 33-year business owner, she’s built something to be proud of and something that she can leave behind; a legacy. I’m working to do the same. I’ve never been called an alien, but I know how some of the derogatory words spoken over me have internalized. I pray she doesn’t internalize the things being said about her during this time.

“NotJane” crochets and sells these flowers in her store. I bought one to remind me of the importance of conversations just like these. Here, “NotJane” now lives in my home. Next time I return to Chicago, I intend on delivering a baby friendship plant to her that I propagated on my own.

We have more in common than we think.